Goodbye Japan...

I'm definately beginning to feel sad that I am leaving this country. The past month was full of events, so I am going to feel strange back in the U.S.A. I've done so many things such as go to Tokyo Disneyland, solo trip for a week, do those ridiculous purikuras, drank w/ my buddy at the top of Shibuya, ride lots of trains, eat sushi!, eat kakigo-ri, bike riding, reading mangas for hours, meeting Aussies/German/American boys, meeting my Japanese childhood friends, getting my tattoo, oh did I say eating?? yeah eating was one of the best parts.

I know I was just enjoying the good parts of Japan, but I feel like I understand my culture better in a sense. It made me more interested in perfecting my Japanese and my history of Japan. This trip has definately opend my eyes towards different things. Now I know I want to have a stable job that pays well so if I do end up having a family, I can do all those fun family events. It really helps to have money...It sounds so shallow, but I believe this has become reality. Money=power, Power=Esteem, Esteem=Happiness, Happiness=Longevity.... and so on. Of course thoese homeless people that were under the train stations will never leave my mind. I can be them. Therefore, I can never feel like I could degrade them. In the back of my mind I say to myself how lucky I am at least to have some kind of shelter. Those people only had cardboard boxes for houses... I bet with the Japanese humidity it sucks to sleep on something as uncomfortable like that.

I guess my mind has become philsophical after reading Pluto(the manga). Why is it that there is the poor, the middle class, the rich? Is it the strength of our brains that decide this? Isn't it interesting that people are not perfect? Who is our creator? Did god really write the bible through people? Is it going to be the end of the world- because we humans became so technologically advanced near perfection? hahaha. I know I might sound like a goofball, but really who is to say it's right or wrong what happens in the future? Who is to say that they know what is going to happen?

Anyways, on with something different. I'm a bit scared to go back to the U.S.A. Am I going to feel out of place? I think it is so important for every human being to visit different countries other than their own country. It really broadens your mind. By visiting you learn so much more about how people live in different circumstances. You learn how to adapt. You become more human by learning about different cultures and actually visiting the places. At least this is how I felt. I want to travel so badly. I want to travel to Brazil, Cuba, Argentina,(most south american countries), Russia, Romania, Germany, France, Italia, Thailand, Tibet, Taiwan, China, Korea, Africa, Egypt, Pakistan, India, Combodia, Iran, Iraq, Aphganistan, Iceland, Mongolia, Australia, Sweden.... and So much more. At least these are the places from the top of my head.

What is the percentage of the poor/the middle class/the rich?

A new challenge

Yesterday night my brother in law and I had a dispute. I asked him why he had three children every year, and I think it got to him. I was only curious because it has been such a hard task, I wondered if they had planned this. I guess my big mouth needs to shut up at times. I realized that men and women cannot have the same kind of conversations at times.
That made me realize that sometimes I need to adjust to different gender regards to different topics.
Today was an uneventful day, but it didn't bother me. I needed a day to think to myself.
I went to go see "Sicko" a Michael Moore film, and it was kind of eye opening. I wonder why the U.S cannot go to National health care. I think it's because the big businesses that are involved with insurance companies would have a huge blowout if the U.S decideded to go that direction.
America, I want to see my people be happier. America, we need to have a leader that actually gives a shit about our people.

I suck at comforting babies

So I awake from my nap that lasted about an hour, and I hear Mossa crying
like babies do when they want their moms. I hesitate, and I yell my sister's name but she's not there. I look around the office room, and my sister nor my brother in law is in sight.
Mossa's cry gets even louder and louder. I call my sister's cell and she said to change his diaper. So I change his diaper but he still does not stop crying. I hold him and he starts crying even more hysterically. By this time I realize that he is just plain hungry. I call my sister and the connections was dead. I panick, and than I realize that I should call my brother in law's cell. I reach him and told him even though I changed his diaper and all, Mossa does not stop crying. So he said that he'll be there in a sec. While waiting, I try to hold Mossa in a comfortable position for him. I tried to hold him like he was a cat. His body curled around my chest. It's sad but I was listening to this erotic mixer.. anyways, he fell asleep by the music- so that was good.
Once my sister/brother in law came home it was evident that Mossa was hungry.
Having a child is such a hard job, honestly I don't ever want a child until I'm fully ready.

Someday-

We're all so picky, but that makes who we are as a person
We like a certain person, we like a certain stlye
that makes up who we are as an individual
We hate a particular person because it clashes with our personality

I like people that are honest and appreciate peoples' emotions
I like people that are complex yet straightforwarded with their emotions
I like people that has their own style
I like people that have fun.

When did I become so picky?
I don't remember being so opinionated-
but I feel like I found who I am these days

Maybe someday I will find someone that has the same taste
Maybe when I become someone that actually say what I mean
that someday someone will be waiting for me....

I hope so.

Sorry, I felt like writing a poem.

I wanna fall in Love, Love, Love

Isn't this terrible? I break up with someone before I leave for Japan, just because I didn't feel it was fair for him to wait around. I even told him that I wasn't looking for anyone even if I go to Japan...and what do I do? I fall straight in love. It's fucked up, I didn't even plan it. I don't even want to fall in love w/ this kid that I just met a week ago. Oh my god! He has a girlfriend!! That should make me want to stop liking him, but it's not. I feel like I am in high school again, just because this kid that I like is so pure. I mean, he hasn't been in a "real" relationship with a girl before... yet, he is a 2 timer when he's in Japan! How uncool is this? I don't know, even if I'm not his girlfriend I just want the friendship to last because in a way he is like a gay friend to me..lol does this make sense?
Anyways, I wore a kimono with my sister 2 days ago. I have never felt so graceful and beautiful in a clothing before. My sister looked so gorgeous, it really made her stand out from anyone. I think it's because she's a classic Japanese beauty. I hope the pictures come out great. I'm such a mess right now, I should not be typing a blog. I'm going to go to a bookstore and read some shojo mangas to kool my nerve..lol sorry for such a scatter mess blog today.

realization of another me

I came back home yesterday at 12:30 ish at midnight. My solo trip had ended and here I am now, in Saitama. This trip felt as if it lasted so much longer than just a week. It felt like it was at least a month. I suppose that was because of the events that took place and the people that I had met during my journey.
The first day that I got to Totori, I was exhausted from the long train rides and walking around with a heavy backpack on my shoulders. It took me about 8 hours to get there by trains/bullet train. Once I got to Totori station, I was impatient for waiting for a bus to take me to this youth hostel(fairly cheap and it is for travelers all around the world) so I took a cab which was double the price of the bus ticket. At that point, I just wanted to get to my destination and crash like a baby. Once I got to the youth hostel, I was really surprised of the presence of the temple right next to it. It looked kool from the outside, but the inside of the youth hostel was another story. I took a bath, and there were black mildew and rust it was not a pleasant sight. But, again I was too tired to really be appalled by the whole environment. After I take a bath and wash up, I go upstairs to my tatami room and lay on the futon mattress. Another terrible occasion was that the futon mattress was so thin that it was not even cushiony. I felt as though I was sleeping on a deck. After tossing and turning that night I realize that I need to leave this youth hostel about 6:00-7:00 in the morning just because I had plans to visit the sand dune and such.
After lying on the futon mattress for about 3 hours, I just couldn't fall asleep due to the uncomfortable position I was on the matress. I decided to wake up and get ready. That was about 5 in the morning. Trust me, after this trip I forgot how to sleep. I even attended the chanting in the temple, but I left shortly. I was chanting words that didn't even make sense, and I probably sound ungracious but I did not feel tranquil. My mind was saying, "you need to get to the bus stop or else you'll be wasting your time not getting to the sand dunes at the right time." So I pretty much skitter away from the youth hostel and not even check out appropriately. That place was overpriced, and there was no one around the checkin place so I left the sheets and such on the table. (don't worry, I paid beforehands)
I wait at the bus stop for about 20 minutes and the bus almost left without me. I was supposed to be on the opposite side, rather than the side I was at. Sitting there made me feel releived because I had caught the bus before it left me. I would have had to wait another hour for another bus to drive by. Totori is a rural area. Not many people lived there. I get to Totori station, and I had to wait another hour and a half for the bus to take me to the sand dunes. I bought a jello drink(it's kind of like a energy drink) and Soukenbichya(oolong cold tea) to refresh me for that morning. While waiting for the bus I met these French couple that was in their 50's-60's. I asked them how long they have been in Japan and they answered I think 2 weeks.....

Off I go.

I cannot wait for tomorrow! My solo trip is about to begin...!!! I'm ready to start my adventure alone! I'm going to Totori tomorrow to see the desertland that is in front of the sea....
So, I will be absent for a while! (at least 3-4 days!) Hopefully my trip will be safe and enjoyable!
I will take lots of pics in memory of my adventures!

Wish me luck!! sayonara for now!