Goodbye Japan...

I'm definately beginning to feel sad that I am leaving this country. The past month was full of events, so I am going to feel strange back in the U.S.A. I've done so many things such as go to Tokyo Disneyland, solo trip for a week, do those ridiculous purikuras, drank w/ my buddy at the top of Shibuya, ride lots of trains, eat sushi!, eat kakigo-ri, bike riding, reading mangas for hours, meeting Aussies/German/American boys, meeting my Japanese childhood friends, getting my tattoo, oh did I say eating?? yeah eating was one of the best parts.

I know I was just enjoying the good parts of Japan, but I feel like I understand my culture better in a sense. It made me more interested in perfecting my Japanese and my history of Japan. This trip has definately opend my eyes towards different things. Now I know I want to have a stable job that pays well so if I do end up having a family, I can do all those fun family events. It really helps to have money...It sounds so shallow, but I believe this has become reality. Money=power, Power=Esteem, Esteem=Happiness, Happiness=Longevity.... and so on. Of course thoese homeless people that were under the train stations will never leave my mind. I can be them. Therefore, I can never feel like I could degrade them. In the back of my mind I say to myself how lucky I am at least to have some kind of shelter. Those people only had cardboard boxes for houses... I bet with the Japanese humidity it sucks to sleep on something as uncomfortable like that.

I guess my mind has become philsophical after reading Pluto(the manga). Why is it that there is the poor, the middle class, the rich? Is it the strength of our brains that decide this? Isn't it interesting that people are not perfect? Who is our creator? Did god really write the bible through people? Is it going to be the end of the world- because we humans became so technologically advanced near perfection? hahaha. I know I might sound like a goofball, but really who is to say it's right or wrong what happens in the future? Who is to say that they know what is going to happen?

Anyways, on with something different. I'm a bit scared to go back to the U.S.A. Am I going to feel out of place? I think it is so important for every human being to visit different countries other than their own country. It really broadens your mind. By visiting you learn so much more about how people live in different circumstances. You learn how to adapt. You become more human by learning about different cultures and actually visiting the places. At least this is how I felt. I want to travel so badly. I want to travel to Brazil, Cuba, Argentina,(most south american countries), Russia, Romania, Germany, France, Italia, Thailand, Tibet, Taiwan, China, Korea, Africa, Egypt, Pakistan, India, Combodia, Iran, Iraq, Aphganistan, Iceland, Mongolia, Australia, Sweden.... and So much more. At least these are the places from the top of my head.

What is the percentage of the poor/the middle class/the rich?

A new challenge

Yesterday night my brother in law and I had a dispute. I asked him why he had three children every year, and I think it got to him. I was only curious because it has been such a hard task, I wondered if they had planned this. I guess my big mouth needs to shut up at times. I realized that men and women cannot have the same kind of conversations at times.
That made me realize that sometimes I need to adjust to different gender regards to different topics.
Today was an uneventful day, but it didn't bother me. I needed a day to think to myself.
I went to go see "Sicko" a Michael Moore film, and it was kind of eye opening. I wonder why the U.S cannot go to National health care. I think it's because the big businesses that are involved with insurance companies would have a huge blowout if the U.S decideded to go that direction.
America, I want to see my people be happier. America, we need to have a leader that actually gives a shit about our people.

I suck at comforting babies

So I awake from my nap that lasted about an hour, and I hear Mossa crying
like babies do when they want their moms. I hesitate, and I yell my sister's name but she's not there. I look around the office room, and my sister nor my brother in law is in sight.
Mossa's cry gets even louder and louder. I call my sister's cell and she said to change his diaper. So I change his diaper but he still does not stop crying. I hold him and he starts crying even more hysterically. By this time I realize that he is just plain hungry. I call my sister and the connections was dead. I panick, and than I realize that I should call my brother in law's cell. I reach him and told him even though I changed his diaper and all, Mossa does not stop crying. So he said that he'll be there in a sec. While waiting, I try to hold Mossa in a comfortable position for him. I tried to hold him like he was a cat. His body curled around my chest. It's sad but I was listening to this erotic mixer.. anyways, he fell asleep by the music- so that was good.
Once my sister/brother in law came home it was evident that Mossa was hungry.
Having a child is such a hard job, honestly I don't ever want a child until I'm fully ready.

Someday-

We're all so picky, but that makes who we are as a person
We like a certain person, we like a certain stlye
that makes up who we are as an individual
We hate a particular person because it clashes with our personality

I like people that are honest and appreciate peoples' emotions
I like people that are complex yet straightforwarded with their emotions
I like people that has their own style
I like people that have fun.

When did I become so picky?
I don't remember being so opinionated-
but I feel like I found who I am these days

Maybe someday I will find someone that has the same taste
Maybe when I become someone that actually say what I mean
that someday someone will be waiting for me....

I hope so.

Sorry, I felt like writing a poem.

I wanna fall in Love, Love, Love

Isn't this terrible? I break up with someone before I leave for Japan, just because I didn't feel it was fair for him to wait around. I even told him that I wasn't looking for anyone even if I go to Japan...and what do I do? I fall straight in love. It's fucked up, I didn't even plan it. I don't even want to fall in love w/ this kid that I just met a week ago. Oh my god! He has a girlfriend!! That should make me want to stop liking him, but it's not. I feel like I am in high school again, just because this kid that I like is so pure. I mean, he hasn't been in a "real" relationship with a girl before... yet, he is a 2 timer when he's in Japan! How uncool is this? I don't know, even if I'm not his girlfriend I just want the friendship to last because in a way he is like a gay friend to me..lol does this make sense?
Anyways, I wore a kimono with my sister 2 days ago. I have never felt so graceful and beautiful in a clothing before. My sister looked so gorgeous, it really made her stand out from anyone. I think it's because she's a classic Japanese beauty. I hope the pictures come out great. I'm such a mess right now, I should not be typing a blog. I'm going to go to a bookstore and read some shojo mangas to kool my nerve..lol sorry for such a scatter mess blog today.

realization of another me

I came back home yesterday at 12:30 ish at midnight. My solo trip had ended and here I am now, in Saitama. This trip felt as if it lasted so much longer than just a week. It felt like it was at least a month. I suppose that was because of the events that took place and the people that I had met during my journey.
The first day that I got to Totori, I was exhausted from the long train rides and walking around with a heavy backpack on my shoulders. It took me about 8 hours to get there by trains/bullet train. Once I got to Totori station, I was impatient for waiting for a bus to take me to this youth hostel(fairly cheap and it is for travelers all around the world) so I took a cab which was double the price of the bus ticket. At that point, I just wanted to get to my destination and crash like a baby. Once I got to the youth hostel, I was really surprised of the presence of the temple right next to it. It looked kool from the outside, but the inside of the youth hostel was another story. I took a bath, and there were black mildew and rust it was not a pleasant sight. But, again I was too tired to really be appalled by the whole environment. After I take a bath and wash up, I go upstairs to my tatami room and lay on the futon mattress. Another terrible occasion was that the futon mattress was so thin that it was not even cushiony. I felt as though I was sleeping on a deck. After tossing and turning that night I realize that I need to leave this youth hostel about 6:00-7:00 in the morning just because I had plans to visit the sand dune and such.
After lying on the futon mattress for about 3 hours, I just couldn't fall asleep due to the uncomfortable position I was on the matress. I decided to wake up and get ready. That was about 5 in the morning. Trust me, after this trip I forgot how to sleep. I even attended the chanting in the temple, but I left shortly. I was chanting words that didn't even make sense, and I probably sound ungracious but I did not feel tranquil. My mind was saying, "you need to get to the bus stop or else you'll be wasting your time not getting to the sand dunes at the right time." So I pretty much skitter away from the youth hostel and not even check out appropriately. That place was overpriced, and there was no one around the checkin place so I left the sheets and such on the table. (don't worry, I paid beforehands)
I wait at the bus stop for about 20 minutes and the bus almost left without me. I was supposed to be on the opposite side, rather than the side I was at. Sitting there made me feel releived because I had caught the bus before it left me. I would have had to wait another hour for another bus to drive by. Totori is a rural area. Not many people lived there. I get to Totori station, and I had to wait another hour and a half for the bus to take me to the sand dunes. I bought a jello drink(it's kind of like a energy drink) and Soukenbichya(oolong cold tea) to refresh me for that morning. While waiting for the bus I met these French couple that was in their 50's-60's. I asked them how long they have been in Japan and they answered I think 2 weeks.....

Off I go.

I cannot wait for tomorrow! My solo trip is about to begin...!!! I'm ready to start my adventure alone! I'm going to Totori tomorrow to see the desertland that is in front of the sea....
So, I will be absent for a while! (at least 3-4 days!) Hopefully my trip will be safe and enjoyable!
I will take lots of pics in memory of my adventures!

Wish me luck!! sayonara for now!

Just pics of Tokyo!

This was at Kichijyo-ji. This was a bicycle parking lot that was FULL!



This was a bad picture of how crowded the station was... but it was crowded!



Again, another bad pic(it's really hard to take pics in Tokyo because you feel so rushed!)
this was a really neat clothing store's entrance.



Poor soichiro...this was before I left for Tokyo-and when I was babysitting him.

human traffic

I am exhausted from going to Tokyo. There is way too many people in one place...That's what I thought.lol I went to activate my JR-railpass in Ikebukuro. I forgot the overwhelming feeling of Tokyo in the summer. I think the huge amount of people wouldn't bother me if it wasn't for the humidness. My sister kindly looked up the railroad directions that I had to take, but I still took the wrong trains..haha. There was one Indian girl that was helping me out- she was gorgeous! Once I got to Ikebukuro, I slid my way through waves of people. First I went to the "Midori no Madoguchi"-which translates to Green Window- it just means customer service for the JR rail line. As I waited for this line that took about 10 min worth, the lady that helped me said that I needed to take a left to the information center for JR. So I trail down to the information center, and I felt releif because I was able to get to my destination. The lady quickly made my JR-rail pass and I was free to go to my next destination, which was Kichi-jyoji.
Kichijyo-ji is my kind of town. I really enjoyed Kichi-jyoji but I didn't enjoy getting lost..;p;
I get to Kichijyo-ji without getting lost, but I needed directions to the Red Bunny(tattoo parlor!) so I asked the "omawarisan"=policeman. There's always a police station near a railroad station, so I always ask them if I'm lost because they know the town:) or as least they have a map. The Omawarisan oppointed for me was a very kind younger man that gently explained and even wrote the way to Red Bunny- He asked me what store I was looking for... and I couldn't answer that because tattoos are still usually affiliated with Yakuzas-or it's still the mentality of it. Regardless, I just tell him Red bunny- I think he thought it was a clothing store of something. So his directions was good, it was just that I didn't understand his directions..:P While looking around for Red Bunny, I came across really neat and hip stores. I liked how everystore seemed unique. Even though I wanted to look around the stores, I just wanted to find where Red Bunny was and actually go in the parlor to see if it was the same as it was on the website.
I finally took the path that lead me to Red Bunny. The direction was sooo easy, but I was just not comprehending the roads of the new environment. I see the Red Bunny sign and I leap in excitment because I was walking around for about 30-35 minutes trying to find this bunny sign. When I go up the tight twirly stairs I see that the steps started to say Red Bunny as I got to the 3rd floor. When I got in the store, I see a man that was wearing those cute frontal hats. I tell him that I was Kawaguchi Wakako, and that I had an appointment with Akatsuki. He asks me what I want and I show Christine's samples. He asked if I drew them, but of course I didn't. In a very enlightened voice he said that they were impressive!!! There was a middle aged woman that I sat next to, and she was looking at tatoo books. She was kind of an odd one. She said that the only tatoo she saw that she liked was a butterfly one, but she said that she didn't even like butterflies! Even though she disliked them, she met with the tatoo artist and confirmed her appointment and dropped her deposit... I was so confused to why she wanted a tattoo from the first place. Tattoos are permanent and usually a thoughtful event to someone... anyways, I finally chose the sakura one because that represented Japan, and I liked the whole twig part as well.
Akatsuki was this petite little cute thing. I imagined her to be alot more bolder since she was a female tattoo artist, but she wasn't. She was really nice, and she asked me if I wanted pink for my sakuras. I told her I wanted blue just because I was going with the whole snowflake idea. She as well told me how well drawn the samples were!!! Anyways, I leave red bunny with my deposit and good feelings. The parlor had decorations of Aztec decor, and rockabilly aura! I'll take pictures the 21st.

Alright, I typed enough for 3 days!!Goodnight!

Rain, rain pour away all those mosquitos\heat!

what a day today was. I was basically researching all day for my solo trip that is beginning this monday. It`s official that I am visiting Totori, (which has the desertland), O-saka(has one of the biggest castles..it`s also known for their AWSOME takoyaki/okonomiyaki), and than Kyoto to visit my sister and the Gion festival that is running right now until august. My sister and I are planning to get dressed in Furisodes which is usually worn on the coming of age ceremony. Since I am turning 20 this year, it`s a custom in Japan to get dressed in Furisodes which are kimonos with longer sleeves that come down near the floor. I can`t wait to get dressed in kimonos and get hair and makeup professionally done.
Anyways, today was a very humid day. I thought I was going to melt when I took Hanaco for a walk for only 20 minutes. I think the official summer had begun today. When I came home, my sister said that my butt was drenched with sweat! How embarrassing! Hanaco is feeling a little better today. We really enjoyed the cold watermelon.

Brain Dead

Today was kind of a lazy day for me. It was a bit cloudy outside, so I didn't really feel like doing much. I hung all the cloths that were washed today in our room, since it was possible that it was going to rain today. I was going to go to Ikebukuro(Tokyo) to get my JR-railpass activated so I can venture out for my solo trip- and than afterwards I was going to go to Kichijyo-ji(Tokyo) since that was where I was going to have a meeting w/ Akatsuki to tell her what I wanted for my tattoo but- I figured I should wait until Christine finishes my design. My sister said that Japanese people like specifics so, it was a better idea to wait until I get a full picture.
My sister and niece/nephew and I decided to go for a walk- since Hanaco needed a refreshment. She had a lot of fun with the fountain at the park. Her hair got wet and curly...it was a fun sight. At home, my brother in law was frustrated because he works at home, yet because of the kids being around he said that he cannot focus. From tomorrow the kids will be sleeping at my mom's which is only about 5 min walking distance from here. Hopefully that will help, because no work means no money! not good!

hospitals and sick babies.

So, I awake from my nephews and niece's cry and scream and all that lovely noise children make. but, for some reason Hanaco had a fever and so she was not going to pre-school today.
Poor child. Apparently someone at her preschool gave her the fever.. My sister called the pre-school and apparently Hanaco was not the only one knocked out.
Well, I went to go get my MRI at 9:00 AM. The hospital looked pretty old. It was called Seiwa hospital. The techinician that instructed me about the MRI test was pretty imformative. He explained that the M for the MRI meant Magnetic. So, anything that I wore that was metalic needed to be put away. I changed into my Japanese looking hospital wear(it kinda reminded me of a yukata style) and was handed my ear plugs since the MRI made really massive noise. He gave me this noice maker to hold in my hand, just in case the MRI hurt me and that I could stop the machine if it was nessasary. That really made me nervous. If it was going to hurt me, I wondered if it was a electrifying pain.
During the process of the MRI, I sat still as possile since this test cost me close to 6000yen=which converts to about $60.00. I wanted the test to be accurate to the a. The MRI machine was kind of like a cubicle. No wonder the techinician asked me if I was clastophobic or not. When they put me under the MRI machine, I wondered if anyone was stupid enough to leave their peircings on. That would mean that the peircing would rip apart from the person and attach to the MRI machine.. in a way, that made me laugh. I realized that there was a camera hole near the level of my eyes as well. I wondered if the techinicians saw my facial expressions. The only facial expressions I had was closed eyes and stillness. I'm sure if they were able to see my expressions it wasn't that exiting..lol The MRI scanning was actually pretty harmless. I was dozing off, and just thinking about these ridiculous things. I was especially thinking about the careless person that lost my check via mail for my transcript. I called the bank last night and they had said that my $40.00 application fee was not cashed.. so, I'm just thinking that the IVCC people forgot to put it in my envelope or the University of Illinois Chicago admissions people didn't carefully look into my envelope. It really makes me mad, because my application will not be finished by the time I come back from Japan.
Anyways, I carry my test results to the hospital that I've been going to(Hanazono Seikei geka) and I wait patiently for about an hour for the doctor to tell my results. My result was that I didn't have a hernia... and that it might have been just an inflammation. This made me feel better about my leg, but at the same time I lost about 8000yen for this ridiculously non-serious illness. I guess I should of waited longer if my leg healed or not. Now I know that I just need to stretch more and excercise my legs more..lol Finally, before I left the doctor's room I asked the doctor if I could have my X-ray tests from the MRI. They look neat. I've always been fascinated by these X-ray tests, but unfortunately he said that it was law to keep it in his hospital for 5 years. He suggested me to take camera pictures or pictures from my camera phone, but that was not what I wanted. I wanted the X-rays!!!
well well, this is what happend so far today. During the waiting period in Hanazono I was looking at a magazine that had all different kinds of things to do in my city and cities near me. There was one male hair stylist that caught my eye. He looks unique and cute. check him out here...lol http://www.b-april.com/ I'm such a sucker for cute men:p

I don`t think I`m ready for Japan.

As the days pass in Japan I realize the Japanese customs alot better. I feel as though I am a foreigner in my own country (More like my parent`s country).
I went to the doctor because my leg/buttocks region hurt like someone was pulling at my nerves and squeezing it and stretching it. The doctor said that I might have a hernia-which was quite embarrasing considering the fact that usually older people get them. After the possible symptom that the doctor had said, they recommended me to have a massage everyday. So, today is the second day that I am getting my massage. Although the electric massage, hand massage is pretty relaxing- I don`t like how unrelaxed the massuers look! I forget that Japanese people are really serious/tense with their jobs. More like they don`t even enjoy it sometimes... I wanted to say to my massuer, " You need to smile more" in english.

Other than realizing how tense my Japanese culture is, I realized that they are all about consideration of other people. Every place has a sign that says something about caring for one another- or shutting the door quietly- or it seems as though there is an instruction for every purpose. It`s lovely, but at the same time I feel contricted from my own ideals.

Another thing that I realized about Japan is that they love cute/compactable things. Cars look like toys, pens look like their edible, and food look super delicious.

Anyways, as soon as I got here in Japan we were welcomed by teenage boys that can`t understand instructions. I specifically told the boy that was carrying my luggage that I was going to "HIGASHI TOKOROZAWA" not TOKOROZAWA. So when we arrive from our bus to Higashi Tokorozawa, we weren`t able to get our luggage. This was because the boy\boys put it all the way in the back with the rest of the Tokorozawa customers. So, my brother-in-law had to drive us to Tokorozawa to get our luggage. My brother in law was probably the best person to greet us, because the flight to Japan was quite hectic. I also think his pretty flowers helped calm our nerves down.

Alright, I know I`ve only been talking about cons it really hasn`t been that bad overall. I got my tattoo apointment on July 14th, and a meeting about what I`m going to get\design this thursday. I can`t wait. The lady that is doing my tattoo was booked for 3 months but my sister managed to squeeze me in her schedule:) oh, a surprising factor when I got here is that my niece is soo not like my sister or my brother in law. Hanaco is this active cute little thing that eats like a sumo- wrestler and knows what she likes/dislikes. Although she is only 1 and a half- I can safely say that she is going to be a very outspoken child.

Are you ready for me JAPAN?

In approximately 2 days, I will be heading to the land of spiritualism/art. In a way, I don't think alot of traditional Japanese people would appreciate me because 1. I am an Americanized Japanese girl 2. I can be very opinionated about subject matters that I am passionate about. 3. I don't see the tradition in catering to men.... But, we'll see. I would like to understand my Japanese roots alot better. Oh, and another thing, I am getting a tattoo which is still quite taboo in most places in Japan.
I cannot wait to eat Japanese food though. The fresh sushi, squid, tofu, udon, ramen(actual ramen noodles) w/ much more ingredients other than just the noodles itself, takoyaki(octopus bundled in usuta-sauce/katuo flakes/nori), Japanese pastry/cakes, ugh.. and so much more!
The activities that I am looking forward to doing in Japan is getting a tattoo(at this cute parlor in Tokyo which is called Red Bunny), traveling alone(I better becareful because there are random stabbing murders, unstable people kidnapping foreigners and killing them, and sexual harrassers on trains..lol), meeting up with old friends/family, going to Tokyo night clubs(we'll see about this one:), going to kool bars, and believe it or not riding in trains..
In a sense, I feel like this is the last trip I am having without responsiblities/money troubles/ and being a teenager. Well, it is going to be.

well, I better go off packing a month worth of fun.

My exploration of Japan is about to start, and I feel like I am about to discover a part of
my history.. we'll see I guess:)

red eyes and easter bunnies

basically this is what's up these days. When I got to Oha're airport, reality really hit me. My father got laid off, and so he is unemployed currently. We are thinking about moving back to Michigan because of it. There's more jobs for him out there than here. Honestly I am getting used to the idea that I am once again moving. I am only moving for the sole purpose of my mother's dreams. She wants to open a little shop that sells take out Japanese foods. I really need to find a university that is compatible to what my major is. My surrounding unstableness is really kicking off my education in a soilpot. I just want to learn and get a degree out of it- and get a stable job. Life is unpredictable... but I guess I can make my own choices from now on. I sound rather dreary in this blog but honestly, I think it's only because I'm telling it to you guys for the first time. Anyways, I am still going to Japan this summer even if it makes me feel like we don't have the money for it anymore. My sister really needs to be assisted during the long flight so. I don't want to plan about my future anymore because nothing is solid until I'm off my parent's plan. I want to be optimistic again though... I'm getting there.

jam jam

I suppose there's been alot going on.
-Let's see, I've been trying to get
my friend employed(he is Chinese) and he speaks in broken English.
You cannot believe how hard it is to get a job if you can not speak
fluent english in this town. So we are going to apply like crazy this saturday.
He also wanted to get a library card so that he can get some beginner's books to enhance his vocabulary.
-I have to voleenteer 20 hrs for my intro to Social Work class, so I can get
my credit from there. I'm thinking about teaching illierate people how to read.
Agh! There is just so many things I need to accomplish yet I feel like my body is so slow! It's running out of batteries or something. Oh a good tradition I've been starting is that I've been packing my own lunch. I try to eat greens/veggies everyday because it feels like it gives me much more energy. I try to cut on my carbs and not eat as much sugar..(which is quite hard) I try to listen to my belly if it's really hungry or not and that helps alot! haha..
Anyways, compared to you guys I feel like I am doing nothing artistic!haha.. really- I think the most artsy thing I do is doodle in my notes during lectures- har har. well well I can not wait for next saturday:D I can't believe it's already next week that I get to visit you guys! My co-worker was telling me about how we have next friday off and I just remembered that that saturday I was going to fly to Georgia:D crazy how time is...

man, do I feel like a woman.

My throat feels a little soar, but it's getting better.
I'm addicted to America's best dance crew... what an amazing show.
Whoever can dance is awssome. I've been jamming to the shows, but
boy I probably look like a goof.
I can't believe it's already march. March is thaaa season of spring, but
Illinois's been snowing quite a bit. It hasn't stopped snowin. Life is going
too quicky it seems. I've just really been fooling around this week, and not
doing as much- but I think this weekend I'm going to study my brains out.
All my classes have been pretty smooth. I just can't wait for Spring break
honestly, I need my homies.. hahahaa
a
n take care homies!
y
w
a
y

smoking red roses

I started casually smoking again.. although I don't think it's bad- because I do not smoke that often. Just when I go to the shows, and when I'm thinking.
I recieved the prettiest roses on Valentines.. I'm so scared of it wilting because of the fragileness of my relationship between myself and B. I have to say it's not the greatest.
The shows that I go to are actually making me have like a permanent high. I'm not exactly sure why.
I heard one of the most beautiful cries in a song- (I forgot the song name but it is by a band named MewithoutYou.)
I met this girl in class and we started to hang out. She's the one that let me hear the song. For some reason I relate with her better than the girls around me. I really love it when females are more masculine. Sometimes the "I don't give a shit" attitude is necessary.
I miss home.

subtle suffocation

Growing apart fruits,
there comes a time when the roots separate,
and then we have time to think
then, who are you truly?
lifted away from the branch,
and you finally set foot on your own,
that is when you realize that it is
then, time for you evolve or to rot....

So, I am single now. I'm not sure if my heart's become solid, but I don't have intense emotions. Right when it happend, subtle tears came flowing down, but it wasn't the right amount of tears. Although I miss the company, I'm beginning to think it was for our own futures. He's going to Chicago to become something big, I'm going to go somewhere else to become something. I feel like there is much more time needed for me to travel and discover different people.
I can't really say I'm depressed, because I feel like I've blocked that kind of statis. Being depressed means months of recovering, and I don't need that in my life right now. More like I don't want that in my life, because I can't concentrate on anything if I am in that situation.
I've become to realize the comfort of being independent. It's nice to actually be ok, being on your own. I'm able to notice who I am more because I'm not putting that effort towards someone else.

I think I have a curse, I never have a boyfriend on V-day.
It's ok though, I'm against V-day. Capatalists trying to snag money on all of us!

donnnnasourus is back

I got free earrings and a cute aligator.
I'm debating if I should go to Japan for the fall semester, or just transfer..
but I feel like I'm rushing myself into a
university. I don't know what my major is yet.... decisions, decisions... it'll come. I'm in no hurry.